Festive Satirists Gifts

Welcome Great Trumpkin

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Christmas Presents.

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

C.P.A.

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

"Did you get some work done?"

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

Pinata Trophy

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

Santa's Reindeer on New Year's Eve.