Festive Humorists Gifts

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

"Of course he hasn't left you anything, you've been a very naughty boy "

"Operator, these three men on camels have been following me all night! I stop, they stop. I go, they go. I'm so scared. . ."

"Mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Santa friendly home has giant chimney.

Candy cane sneeze.

' That nonsense about flying reindeer is just a silly myth.'

'This baby's got 12 reindeer power.'

"As long as you're up there, how about brushing the snow off the satellite dish?"

"Hi! I'm on the bus."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Christmas Presents.

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

'Oh, Christ.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Four

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

Santa hosing the Chimney.

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"