Festive Legal Humorist Gifts

'Well, well, well -- seven hundred and fifty thousand counts of breaking and entering....'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"Bailiff."

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Christmas Presents.

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"We make crime pay."

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

A baby in court

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

Loopholes

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"At least he's honest about it..."