Festive Comedians Gifts

'It's beginning to look at lot like Christmas.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Christmas Presents.

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'Oh, Christ.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

The Month of August

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Four

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

Santa hosing the Chimney.

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

C.P.A.

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

"You've got a fairy light at the back."