Festive Comedians Pillows

'It's beginning to look at lot like Christmas.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Christmas Presents.

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

The Month of August

'Oh, Christ.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

Santa hosing the Chimney.

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

C.P.A.

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.