Festive Season Humorist Pillows

"I know what I don't want for Christmas – Chinese food."

No one cares any more whether you believe in Santa or not...these days it's all about climate change!!

"I'd like to boycott toys made by Santa's little helpers. I have concerns about the use of child labour."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Claus 2.0

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

High security Santa's grotto

Night of the Latkes

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"Ninja bread men"

Hiding the electronics.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Non-Denominational Carols

Fish snorkling above water.

'Now it fits.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

King Kongs first christmas

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"I don't believe in you!"

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.