Festive Period Humorist Pillows

Christmas, 1919.

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Christmas Presents.

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"I love this time of year."

'It's a snow mobile.'

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

'Oh, Christ.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?