Festive Period Humorist Gifts

Christmas, 1919.

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Christmas Presents.

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'Oh, Christ.'

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"I love this time of year."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

'It's a snow mobile.'

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Four

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'