Festive Season Satirist Gifts

"It's not that I can't stand the cold - I just hate the holidays."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

"I love this time of year."

'It's a snow mobile.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen in: Changing Seasons. Does life affirm with coming fall? Leaved hit the ground, men huddle. Smashing each other over a ball. Wrestling around in a puddle. Huh? In this potpourri of hulky sights, one image is hardly the least, sir. So many changes, so many nights ... to see Eli Manning's keister. The bard of NY Giants football. Beautiful. Disgusting.

Christmas Socks

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

Night of the Living Reindeer

'I love crocuses. They seem to defy the winter snow to let you know spring is coming.'

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"Did you get some work done?"

"I'm going to need to make multiple stops."

The Four Seasonings.

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'Didn't I tell you I could find carrots even in winter?'

"Not exactly a snowman!"

Snowing