Festive Satire Enjoyer Gifts

Charon rowing a boat of turkeys to their deaths.

'Yes, all at once!'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

The Frankenstein snowman.

'I get that reaction a lot.'

Missing Daylight: So dark. So cold.

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

Night of the Living Reindeer

Rudolph Red Light District

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

The Three Wise Women

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

Vaccine Reindeer

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

Christmas 2020

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

Santa narrowly avoids discrimination suit

'Wise up. We're not getting all this stuff because we were good this year - they're bribes for us to be good next year.'

"It suddenly occurred to me - what was all this giving, giving, giving all the time?! How about doing some taking for a change?"

Wintertime Barometer.

SEE SANTA, ''Happy Holidays'? -- Don't tell me YOU'RE getting politically correct, now?'

"You're not distancing."

'I see management bonuses remain unaffected again this year.'

"This doesn't feel right..."

"It doesn't feel like Christmas. So, I'm drinking until it does."

Bad King Wenceslas

"Solar diet."

"No man should have to work on Christmas every year!"

Gardening Terminology: Freezia

"Wow! She's hot."