Seasonal Satire Gifts

"It's 2020, children. Just have faith that nothing's gonna work out in the end!"

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

The Frankenstein snowman.

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

'It's a snow mobile.'

"I love this time of year."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

Missing Daylight: So dark. So cold.

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

"This is the only time of the year when we get to hit the children."

'I love crocuses. They seem to defy the winter snow to let you know spring is coming.'

"Did you get some work done?"

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

"You're really serious about that diet!"

Christmas Socks

Snowman Romance

The Four Seasonings.

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

"Defending you isn't going to be easy. . . Sana actually started an 'Extremely cruel, stupid and psychotic kid' list especially for you."