Seasonal Satire Fans Gifts

'Some country that doesn't have Thanksgiving!'

Boxing Day

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

"Solar diet."

"Little help?"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

The Frankenstein snowman.

In my day, they didn

Missing Daylight: So dark. So cold.

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

Night of the Living Reindeer

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

"Did you get some work done?"

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"Owww!! Yes, that hurts!"

Snowman arriving home to his Refrigerator Home

"I see Linda and Gay moved back from down South. I knew that wouldn't last."

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

The Itchy Back

"Look at you, all gnarly and naked and gross!"

"Defending you isn't going to be easy. . . Sana actually started an 'Extremely cruel, stupid and psychotic kid' list especially for you."

The Three Wise Women

'Bless you.'

Christmas 2020

'I'm the ghost of non-sectarian midwinter public holiday future.'

How to Tell Spring is Here.

The City of Eden…in Fact - Martin Outside the 'Office' of Chuzzlewit & Co

"I give you about ten days, then your head will rot."