Seasonal Satire Lovers Gifts

Christmas 2020

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

The Frankenstein snowman.

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

Missing Daylight: So dark. So cold.

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"Did you get some work done?"

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

Snowman arriving home to his Refrigerator Home

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

"Defending you isn't going to be easy. . . Sana actually started an 'Extremely cruel, stupid and psychotic kid' list especially for you."

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

The Three Wise Women

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

'I'm the ghost of non-sectarian midwinter public holiday future.'

See U Next Year

"I give you about ten days, then your head will rot."

Santa narrowly avoids discrimination suit

"Never lose your cool."

"I'm determined to beat the traffic, I just need to work out how they fly."

Snirtman

"Oh no ... I'll never lose any weight this way."

"You're not distancing."

"This doesn't feel right..."

Gardening Terminology: Freezia

Wintertime Barometer.