Seasonal Satire Seeker Gifts

I like spring okay, except for the mammoths shedding.

Rival Santa Clauses: 'You may have little, more helpful elves, but my Rudolph as a VERY shiny nose.'

Just 4 Chopping Days Until Thanksgiving.

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

The Frankenstein snowman.

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

Missing Daylight: So dark. So cold.

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

Night of the Living Reindeer

"Did you get some work done?"

"You're really serious about that diet!"

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

"Defending you isn't going to be easy. . . Sana actually started an 'Extremely cruel, stupid and psychotic kid' list especially for you."

Snowman arriving home to his Refrigerator Home

The Three Wise Women

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

Christmas 2020

'I'm the ghost of non-sectarian midwinter public holiday future.'

Santa narrowly avoids discrimination suit

"I give you about ten days, then your head will rot."

Snowman: 'Maybe we should put down a towel first..?'

Wintertime Barometer.

"This doesn't feel right..."

"You're not distancing."

"Wow! She's hot."

"Oi! You little fucker!"

Snirtman

Gardening Terminology: Freezia

"Solar diet."