Festive Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

'As usual...you get the glory and I get the dirty job.'

Santa gets caught short.

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"I can't find anything on line. I'm going to the mall."

Reindeer Farts: 'Shouldn't have stopped for those chilli dogs.'

'Rudolph...I think I finally found the secret of your red nose.'

"We're under stage four water restrictions!"

Santa: 8 Items or less

"Your parents bring the presents, and he takes the credit."

"The most beautiful time of the year? My foot! Annoying kids! Stinking reindeer! Snow and cold! And I don't even get a Christmas bonus!"

"I've been praying for an excuse not to go Christmas shopping."

Piranhaclaus

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

"Just because you can go around the world in one night doesn't mean you can also do your taxes that way!"

Santa Enjoys Venison.

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

I may have a belly full of jelly, but trust me, no one is faster at going through duct work.

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

Vaccine Reindeer