Festive Humor Gifts

"We love Santa, but Santa didn't know as much about investing as he thought he did."

"I'm afraid it's another case of 'chestnuts roasting too near an open fire' doctor."

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"Reindeer?! It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas."

"He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake."

Christmas at the Asylum.

Homeless Santa Claus

"To celebrate the new year, we are sending champagne directly into your blood vessels!"

"Remember, if you don't give me what I want, I know where you live!"

"Same every year, he gets all tensed updreading the first radio blast of Slade's 'It's Christmas'..."

Happy Brexmas.

"You wouldn't believe how much it costs to feed eight tiny reindeer."

Flame throwing Elf chasing wild Christmas Pudding

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

The Navigator on Christmas Eve

"I'm away one night and you're shaking up with teh foreman packer!"

The Tenth Day of Christmas

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"It's cuz you're fat."

Santa Claus Searching for Deer

Santa stopping for the toilet.

Now 5 days before Christmas, Santa's deadline was looming, and made doubly worse, with employment un-blooming...

"I don't want to see Father Christmas, I want to see Cheryl Cole!"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Christmas Presents.

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'