Festive Comedy Gifts

"Do you hear what I hear?" "Fweeet!"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Christmas Presents.

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

'Oh, Christ.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Four

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

"Sharp shooter, huh? Well, I was attacked by an ax murderer!"

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

Santa hosing the Chimney.

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!