Festive Comedy Fan Gifts

'Speeding? Of course I was speeding! I have to make over a billion deliveries in one night!'

'I'm afraid Mrs. Claus got the last ho-ho-ho!'

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

"If you start singing "Santa Baby" I will sleep in the guest room!"

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Try me/try me/try me...

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'He's got your nose.'

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'Oh, Christ.'

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Four

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'This way! We will grant you sanctuary!'

An Amazon drone crashes into Santa's sleigh

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'Didn't I warn you not to have the vindaloo?'

'Santas Ponzi Scheme'

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

Full Serve/Elf Serve

With all of the drone traffic, Santa had to replace Rudolph with Randolph the radar-nosed reindeer!