Festive Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Meet a Representative of Santa Claus

'I'm sorry to disturb you, but new health and safety rules prohibit me from climbing down your chimney.'

"Rudolph! You're in no shape to guide my sleigh tonight!"

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

Happy Christmas 2020

Santa sends it all by FedEx.

'We've been outsourced to an Indian cool centre.'

"Sorry, pal, you're too late. I'm completely out of ideas."

"Cheer up, Mr. Claus. At least someone believes you're real."

Father Christmas with bodyguards.

'Look Eric, you're not having the same thing again this year. You had sex last Christmas.'

'What do you mean you had a little fender-bender this afternoon with the sleigh?!'

"Do you have a returns policy?"

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

"I gotta tell ya, right about now, I am not feeling particularly thankful!"

Rudolf brown nosing his way in

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

"We don't have a lot of options for working just one day a year."

Inn Closed for Xmas.

Merry Christmas, Putin!

"Do you have one in a bigger size?"

"My lawyer will present my case that I was definitely 'nice'."

"What? I find that I make a much better brake light."

"You don't seem too crazy about the downsizing idea."

"We'd better tell Santa! We're being sued by Billy Gerent: He claims us putting on the Naughty List is discriminatory..."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"Best not to risk it, I might find the joke offensive."

"We're not going anywhere until I find my motion sickness pills!"

". . . And if I don't get it, I'm calling the better business bureau!"

"It doesn't feel like Christmas. So, I'm drinking until it does."

Covid 19 Father Christmas in a Facemask

The 12 days of Christmas 2020

Bah, humbug!

"Don't say I never take you anywhere."

"Gifts? No gifts this year. The Reindeer are half-starved because there is no more food due to the collapsed supply chains and the shortage of truck drivers and the elves are in corona quarantine."