Festive Humor Fan Pillows

"You must contact everyone who's ever been on your naughty/nice list."

Snowman half melted, computer lies on the floor. Other snowman says: 'I warned you about using that laptop.'

'You guys want to go on working for me after Christmas?'

"Hey pal, Don't mention downsizing to me!"

'With the cutbacks we all have to double up on jobs!'

"Fetch my slippers, newspaper and a partridge in a pear tree."

'I can't bear to disillusion Mum and Dad. They still believe in kids thinking Father Christmas is real.'

Finland in NATO

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Christmas Romance.

City Grocers: New for Xmas or Green Sprouts of Recovery!

Putin gets a brain from Santa Claus

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

"I want a Bark-O-Lounger."

Sabre Claws had his very own take on season's greetings...

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"Little help?"

Try me/try me/try me...

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'He's got your nose.'

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

'I get that reaction a lot.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

'This way! We will grant you sanctuary!'