Festive Humor Fans Pillows

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

"Well, look at that! I don't even think you'll need Rudolph this year!"

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."

For those who think Christmas midnight mass is at 10pm. . . Father has left shovels for you to clear the snow from the parking lot for those of us who will be attending the midnight mass beginning at MIDNIGHT!

Try me/try me/try me...

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'He's got your nose.'

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

'This way! We will grant you sanctuary!'

"Just because you can go around the world in one night doesn't mean you can also do your taxes that way!"

With all of the drone traffic, Santa had to replace Rudolph with Randolph the radar-nosed reindeer!

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

Full Serve/Elf Serve

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

Santa Enjoys Venison.

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

An Amazon drone crashes into Santa's sleigh

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

I may have a belly full of jelly, but trust me, no one is faster at going through duct work.