Holiday Humor Fans Pillows

"It's Lyme disease again."

Shepherds visit baby Jesus. Joseph says: 'Oh, there's plenty of room at the inn, we're just downsizing.'

'According to this, they're suing you for illegal entry and the theft of one mince pie and a glass of sherry.'

"It's true I am a cow, but I have an excellent work ethic!"

Kong and Santa

Easter Egg Sellout

I may have a belly full of jelly, but trust me, no one is faster at going through duct work.

The elf union is picketing Santa's House - 'Christmas just isn't the same since the union stepped in!'

"Hey, I gotta make a living the rest of the year too. Give me a break, here."

"Have you noticed, our insurance policy has expired?"

'Well, technically, Eugene, we're not under the mistletoe...'

Boxing day at Santa's house

"You know full well you didn't give me what I wanted last year so, this time - sign this promise!"

"You look a little like Bernie Sanders, and sponsor a big giveaway program - you must be a liberal, right?"

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!"

"That does it Rudolph! Take off that mask or you are not guiding my sleigh!"

Santa claus inflation.

"I now make deliveries in the off-season too."

'You know how 'method' Charles is . . .'

'Everyone loves Christmas...except the turkey!'

Xmas Chocolates for Mice

'Yes, I have been good this year... By today's standards.'

'Don't worry, I come in peace today: Merry Christmas!'

Only one Partridge in a pear tree? Mr. Jones next door gave his true love two partridges.

"Looks like we missed Christmas again!"

"When you said you were cooking up a big 'tom', I assumed..."

Lonely Christmas Cow

How many Christmas gifts did you get this year? I got over a dozen. Seriously? No single, childless adult with very little family and only one friend can possibly get that many Christmas gifts. Unless ... by "got," you meant ... I had Amazon wrap them all. I like to be surprised.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Elfie Stick

Piranhaclaus

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."