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"It's Lyme disease again."

Shepherds visit baby Jesus. Joseph says: 'Oh, there's plenty of room at the inn, we're just downsizing.'

'According to this, they're suing you for illegal entry and the theft of one mince pie and a glass of sherry.'

"It's true I am a cow, but I have an excellent work ethic!"

Kong and Santa

Easter Egg Sellout

I may have a belly full of jelly, but trust me, no one is faster at going through duct work.

The elf union is picketing Santa's House - 'Christmas just isn't the same since the union stepped in!'

"Have you noticed, our insurance policy has expired?"

'Well, technically, Eugene, we're not under the mistletoe...'

Boxing day at Santa's house

"You know full well you didn't give me what I wanted last year so, this time - sign this promise!"

"You look a little like Bernie Sanders, and sponsor a big giveaway program - you must be a liberal, right?"

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!"

"That does it Rudolph! Take off that mask or you are not guiding my sleigh!"

Santa claus inflation.

'You know how 'method' Charles is . . .'

'Everyone loves Christmas...except the turkey!'

Xmas Chocolates for Mice

'Yes, I have been good this year... By today's standards.'

'Don't worry, I come in peace today: Merry Christmas!'

Only one Partridge in a pear tree? Mr. Jones next door gave his true love two partridges.

"Looks like we missed Christmas again!"

Lonely Christmas Cow

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Elfie Stick

Piranhaclaus

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Try me/try me/try me...

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'