Holiday Hilarity Fans Pillows

"OMG! They're eating noses!"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Piranhaclaus

Elfie Stick

Tourists and their Pets.

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Try me/try me/try me...

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"I could get used to working remotely."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'He's got your nose.'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

The Reindeer Strike

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"I've made a terrible mistake."

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"