Holiday Humor Aficionados Pillows

Carol singers at Anagram Company singing 'Listen Thing' instead of 'Silent Night'.

Piranhaclaus

"Your behavior was kind of shady so don't be surprised if you only receive clothes for Christmas."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Elfie Stick

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

Stonehenge Sandcastle

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Santa's Helpers

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"I noticed a few browns."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

"Gesundheit!"

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

'Isn't that the ghastly couple we met last summer in Rock?'

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."