Holiday Humor Seekers Pillows

"Soon, felllas, soon."

"You're gonna be happy to learn your husband's annual overnight disappearances have a perfectly innocent explanation, Mrs. Claus."

"Well, this is clearly a blatant war on Christmas that calls for nothing less than a hysterical and highly irrational response!"

'I love you guys!'

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Elfie Stick

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Piranhaclaus

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

Stonehenge Sandcastle

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

Santa's Helpers

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

"Gesundheit!"

"I noticed a few browns."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"