Holiday Season Humor Lover Pillows

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Piranhaclaus

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Elfie Stick

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

Try me/try me/try me...

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

'He's got your nose.'

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

Santa's Helpers

"I noticed a few browns."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'