Holiday Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Obsessive-Compulsive Santa

"We got you a dreidel."

"The knees are the first to go."

"Fa-la-la-la-la,la-labor $95 an hour."

World's Most Obscure Christmas Songs

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

Letter to Santa, 'Dear Santa, Some Assembly Required. Timmy'

'and I suppose you'll be working again this Christmas?'

"Now we'll need a sitter for New Year's Eve."

'Well, yes, I give the toys away for free, but I make it up in volume.'

'What do you mean they all have swine flu?'

'Funny, every November, she always seems to find herself an overweight boyfriend with life insurance.'

"Sorry Rudolf, but we've gone solar."

'Well of course I'm not Santa! He contracts out!'

'This is our leftovers from Christmas.'

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

Three wise men?! And not one of you bought chocolate!

'Good news. Even though you've been spending way beyond your means, the IMF is giving you a bailout. It seems you're too big to fail.'

JANUARY 3RD AT ROCKEFELLER CENTER.

Post-Season's Greetings: 'Y'know...a month ago, everyone was all, 'Let me buy you a drink, Santa!' Now suddenly it's, 'Who's the little weirdo in the red suit?'...'

"I set up the sensors. He sees you when you're sleeping."

"How do I know you're not going to turn around and spend it on eggnog?"

Computer screen says 'Have you been naughty/nice?' Santa says to elf: 'The kids send very few letters since you set up that website.'

"I don't care if it is near the holidays. Stop calling the patient's liver a 'giblet'!"

What's this deduction of $20 million for gifts?

Reindeer Tryouts Today Only

"I do all of my holiday shopping on line."

Jewish reindeer

Man whose head resembles a Christmas pudding.

'Attention - I'm having an endocrinologist in tomorrow to look at all of you.'

'I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is Wally fell into the sanding machine. The good news is he's nice and smooth.'

"Wishing yuo a very merry Christmas and Propserous New Year."

"Code blue! Code blue! His heart's grown three times it's size!"

'This quantitative easing is taking too long.'