Holiday Humor Appreciators Pillows

Santa gets caught short.

'Sorry Son, I might be the fastest animal on land, but I don't think I could catch the Gingerbread Man...'

"I only wear the medals around the holidays."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Piranhaclaus

Elfie Stick

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"I could get used to working remotely."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Stonehenge Sandcastle

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Gesundheit!"

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'Isn't that the ghastly couple we met last summer in Rock?'

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"AS a matter of fact, yes, you have told me you vacationed on Earth."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"I've made a terrible mistake."

The Reindeer Strike

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'