Holiday Humor Appreciators Gifts

Santa gets caught short.

'Sorry Son, I might be the fastest animal on land, but I don't think I could catch the Gingerbread Man...'

"I only wear the medals around the holidays."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Elfie Stick

Piranhaclaus

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"I could get used to working remotely."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Stonehenge Sandcastle

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

"Gesundheit!"

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

Christmas on Other Planets.

'Isn't that the ghastly couple we met last summer in Rock?'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

"I've made a terrible mistake."

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"AS a matter of fact, yes, you have told me you vacationed on Earth."

The Reindeer Strike

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

A few post-Christmas options for Santa.