Holiday Humor Appreciation Pillows

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Piranhaclaus

Elfie Stick

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

Try me/try me/try me...

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'He's got your nose.'

Stonehenge Sandcastle

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Santa's Helpers

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'