Christmas Humor Fans Pillows

Randolph - the brown-nosed reindeer...

'It's the Night Before Christmas, and I drank lots of eggnog, and all through the house I've been puking.'

"Have you been a good dog or a bad dog?"

"and... the thtokingth were hung by the thimney with...

Try me/try me/try me...

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

'He's got your nose.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

After they became friends, Rudolph found out just what reindeer games the reindeer played.

"You have the Hum bug.'

"Just because you can go around the world in one night doesn't mean you can also do your taxes that way!"

'This way! We will grant you sanctuary!'

'Santas Ponzi Scheme'

Santa Enjoys Venison.

An Amazon drone crashes into Santa's sleigh

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'