Christmas Humor Fans Gifts

Randolph - the brown-nosed reindeer...

'It's the Night Before Christmas, and I drank lots of eggnog, and all through the house I've been puking.'

"Have you been a good dog or a bad dog?"

"and... the thtokingth were hung by the thimney with...

Try me/try me/try me...

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

'He's got your nose.'

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

After they became friends, Rudolph found out just what reindeer games the reindeer played.

"Just because you can go around the world in one night doesn't mean you can also do your taxes that way!"

'This way! We will grant you sanctuary!'

"You have the Hum bug.'

'Santas Ponzi Scheme'

Santa Enjoys Venison.

An Amazon drone crashes into Santa's sleigh

Politically correct Xmas presents

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'