Christmas Humor Lovers Gifts

"And remember, have your parents ask their doctor if Ambulex is right for them."

"The Three Wise Men followed a star...wasn't their GPS working?"

'How come I never see you in church?'

Santa at The Eye Doctor.

"Christmas is cancelled."

Santa has a surprise waiting for him.

Our Founder

'It's a girl!'

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

'I think you should know I'm listening to offers from other Santas.'

'Contrary to popular Victorian convention Albert believed that children should be heard and not seen...'

Christmas Eve and Christmas Adam

"My doctor just told me to lose 30 pounds. Rufus, Teeny...you're fired."

"Gold, Frankincense and myrrh! Go back out there and tell them, if they didn't bring a midwife, they can bugger off!"

"We're finding out who's naughty and who's nice by following them on Facebook."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Elfie Stick

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I could get used to working remotely."

Christmas on Other Planets.

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

A centipede's Christmas stockings

"I've made a terrible mistake."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

The Reindeer Strike

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

A few post-Christmas options for Santa.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."