Christmas Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

'I'm going to tell him I've been good on the chance that my reputation hasn't preceded me.'

Ebenezer Scrooge's in/out baskets say 'Bah and Humbug!'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Piranhaclaus

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Elfie Stick

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

Santa's Helpers

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Christmas on Other Planets.

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

A centipede's Christmas stockings

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

A few post-Christmas options for Santa.

"I've made a terrible mistake."

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"