Christmas Humor Aficionados Gifts

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

Piranhaclaus

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

"Just because you can go around the world in one night doesn't mean you can also do your taxes that way!"

"You have the Hum bug.'

Santa Enjoys Venison.

Santa's Second Stringers.

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

'Didn't I warn you not to have the vindaloo?'

"The Three Wise Men followed a star...wasn't their GPS working?"

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

I may have a belly full of jelly, but trust me, no one is faster at going through duct work.

"You should join us for Thanksgiving."

'Sorry Son, I might be the fastest animal on land, but I don't think I could catch the Gingerbread Man...'

Christmas Eve and Christmas Adam

'You're seeing someone else, aren't you?'

"Any chance one of you might hang around and be our sitter for New Years Eve?"

"Your behavior was kind of shady so don't be surprised if you only receive clothes for Christmas."

'I kept wondering for years...am I red with white stripes or white with red stripes? I became so mixed up. Now, look at me.'

"I'm sorry but I only employ elves..."

"You know, Christmas isn't the only time I'm busy. ..the rest of the year I deliver for Amazon."

'Don't worry, I come in peace today: Merry Christmas!'

Christmas 2020

Santa never made it as a pirate: 'Yo ho ho! And a bottle of egg nog!'

"No more for him, he has to drive."

Christmas Hat Tree

Ho! Ho! Ho! From North Pole.

364 days a year jobless. Please help!