Christmas Humor Aficionado Gifts

'Not more WikiLeaks...I still have not read the first lot .'

"Christmas is a time for giving....So I'd like you to give me all your money!"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Piranhaclaus

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Elfie Stick

Try me/try me/try me...

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

'He's got your nose.'

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

"I noticed a few browns."

Santa's Helpers

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

Christmas on Other Planets.