Christmas Comedy Aficionado Gifts

"You wouldn't believe how much it costs to feed eight tiny reindeer."

"Making snow angels my furry tail! He's slipped off the roof again and can't get up."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"I noticed a few browns."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

"Sharp shooter, huh? Well, I was attacked by an ax murderer!"

For Crying Out Loud I Am Not Rudolph

'Didn't I warn you not to have the vindaloo?'

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'Santas Ponzi Scheme'

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

"He must be a South Pole elf..."

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

Santa's Second Stringers.

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

"The Three Wise Men followed a star...wasn't their GPS working?"

"We're from Neighborhood Watch. We'd like to see some I.D."

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

Santa Hat Hair

"Claus Trophobia"

"Not a good sign. It's a box of pop-up thermometers."

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

"I'm sorry but I only employ elves..."

Christmas Eve and Christmas Adam

"I thought you might like to have a merrier brain for the new millennium!"