Christmas Comedy Aficionado Pillows

"You wouldn't believe how much it costs to feed eight tiny reindeer."

"Making snow angels my furry tail! He's slipped off the roof again and can't get up."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"I noticed a few browns."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'Santas Ponzi Scheme'

For Crying Out Loud I Am Not Rudolph

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

'Didn't I warn you not to have the vindaloo?'

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

"The Three Wise Men followed a star...wasn't their GPS working?"

"We're from Neighborhood Watch. We'd like to see some I.D."

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

About Santa 2017.

"Well, I ain't flyin' next to him!"

Santa Hat Hair

"Claus Trophobia"

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

"I thought you might like to have a merrier brain for the new millennium!"

"Not a good sign. It's a box of pop-up thermometers."