Holiday Comedy Fans Gifts

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'Rudolph...I think I finally found the secret of your red nose.'

Piranhaclaus

Try me/try me/try me...

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'He's got your nose.'

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

"You have the Hum bug.'

"Just because you can go around the world in one night doesn't mean you can also do your taxes that way!"

'This way! We will grant you sanctuary!'

Full Serve/Elf Serve

Santa Enjoys Venison.

An Amazon drone crashes into Santa's sleigh

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

'Santas Ponzi Scheme'

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

I may have a belly full of jelly, but trust me, no one is faster at going through duct work.

'Dang it, Dasher, I told you to go before we left to North Pole!'

About Santa 2017.