Christmas Comedy Lovers Gifts

"Try rolling on the ground! Roll around on the ground!"

"Looks like you're out of options, big man. Sure, I'll guide your sleigh tonight. Here's my price. Cash. And, by the way, we're leaving this out of the song."

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

Don't fly and text.

Pole Dancers.

"Better keep the reindeer on the lawn. The roof's been covered with solar panels."

'Boy, you look like you were poured into that suit!'

Santa shaves

Reindeer Farts: 'Shouldn't have stopped for those chilli dogs.'

Santa: 8 Items or less

Melania's Christmas

"Christmas dinner is half price today, Sir. Chef forgot to wash his hands before stuffing the turkey."

"I'm sorry but I only employ elves..."

Children's Parties

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Lesser known greek gods,

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Romeo & Juliet & Ron