Festive Humor Lovers Pillows

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

Boxing Day

Woke Christmas - Consent form hanging next to a bunch of mistletoe.

Dec. 24. Off duty. Sure, we would have gotten better mileage tonight without it, but all the starting and stopping was just part of the job.

'What is clausophobia?' - 'Fear of Father Christmas.'

'Be reasonable,son - even Santa couldn't get a horse in a box THAT size!!'

SANTA'S WORKSHOP, 'Kris, Kringle, Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas -- if you're on the level, why all the aliases?'

"Yep, that's right: Because we live at the North Pole, Santa delivers polar bears' presents first..."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

Robin's Christmas stocking

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Elfie Stick

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"I could get used to working remotely."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Christmas on Other Planets.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

The Reindeer Strike

A few post-Christmas options for Santa.

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"I've made a terrible mistake."

'I get that reaction a lot.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'