Festive Humor Lover Pillows

"You think your job is hard? I have to remember which date Easter falls on each year."

Santa loads his sleigh with a survival book, entitled: 'How to cook reindeer'.

"You know, boys, I could get this crap a lot cheaper from China."

Three very wise men.

Nice/Naughty/Morally Complex

Under New Management.

Snif Snif.

'Rudolph's curse in Summer...'

'So what's your secret?'

'This is my lawyer to eye-witness your promises...'

"It's from the environmental lobby. . . they want you to stop putting coal in the naughty kids stockings."

'Let's see. I've got three hundred and fifty two, you've got one, which looks suspiciously like your handwriting anyway.'

"For dessert I'll have milk and cookies."

Christmas Cows

'Letter to my young self: what the hell were you thinking?"

"You gotta put him on the defensive. Ask him first if he's been naughty or nice."

When Car Shares Go Bad

Punch Bowl

'We don't make toys any more. I send the elves to buy them in China.'

"No, that's not mine. Do you have one with a big red nose?"

"I'm confused. We were trained to do our business outside, but then they bring in a tree that glows."

"We could save a lot of money on tariffs if we move our toy making operation from the North Pole to Cleveland."

"Yes M'lord, I did shout 'I hate Santa Claus' in the department store, but it isn't a crime!"

"Don't forget to use your hand sanitizer." (Mrs. Claus yelling to Santa)

Rudolph, with your nose so... so... ah, nevermind.

"Can you repeat that? Santa is a little hungover."

'Well come on!.. Now that the subject's been raised. is there anyone else here who doesn't really believe in me?'

Frosty the Vampire

"I think UKIP have got to him."

'I didn't have time to shop this year so it's Swan-mart gift cards for everyone.'

My other vehicle is a toboggan.

'Let's move to the North Pole. It would be easier to get reindeer to fly than these things.'

Santa begging with sign: Will work for milk and cookies.

'Hang on a minute: If it's not a foggy night, why should YOU lead?!'

Homeland Security.