Christmas Satirists Gifts

Christmas Sale Special

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Stonehenge Sandcastle

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

"Gesundheit!"

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'Isn't that the ghastly couple we met last summer in Rock?'

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"AS a matter of fact, yes, you have told me you vacationed on Earth."

The other days of the year...

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

It must be December again -- I just had a vision of sugarplums.

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

Santa Elevator

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat

It was brighter than most, and Biggins allowed himself a quiet smile as he contemplated the immense speeds involved as it burned itself up in the atmosphere...

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

"Airbnb?"

"I heard that Santa's cutting out the 30% employee discount on toys."

Santa School.

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

Cut out and keep your own Baby Jesus.