Festive Satirists Pillows

Welcome Great Trumpkin

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Christmas Presents.

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

"Did you get some work done?"

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

C.P.A.

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

Pinata Trophy

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

SANTA'S WORKSHOP, 'About that breath of yours -- maybe you should consult the Tooth Fairy.'