Whimsical Humor Lovers Gifts

"Once upon a time there were three little pigs who had this real sweetheart of a rent-controlled deal."

The Very Thirsty Caterpillar

"How about this line?"

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

Witch's child wants to ride mechanical broom.

Most of the vegetables cried at the Onions wedding.

'Dude...that's one heck of a beer belly.'

'We can't have lifts because the competition snapped up Mr Otis.'

Dish ran away with the spoon

"Shh...here he comes, and he's got the brain and the heart with him"

'E. I. E. I. O!.. I think we've just made contact with old Macdonald!'

Soldiers with Teddy Bears

"Slimey, what a lovely name."

"Take us to your feeder."

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

Dog in casino.

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

The worm that churned!

Ask A Silly Question.

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

"Look! A sushi bar!"

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

"Excuse me, but I'm the only one who opens cans around here!"