Whimsical Humor Lover Gifts

"Ye God's! You're right Captain! We are in a bottle!!!"

'Where's the nearest bar?' 'Oh, they's been hibernatin' fer weeks!'

Shareholders Meeting - "That is a very good question - next question, please."

'Okay, all of you, stay right where you are. The murderer may still be near.'

"Same mold, same mold."

'Oh, oh, there goes the whole neighbourhood.'

"Gosh, Grandma, what big drinks you pour."

'Is it near a school?'

Helicopter rescues mouse in maze.

'You should have called me as soon as the sneezing started.'

"Look! A sushi bar!"

"You should judge. At least the lap I lick is my own."

'Big deal. I once jumped over the sun.'

'My biological clock finally went off.'

'I like the way you never question when I say jump.'

Fish have to sit at the table for thirty minutes after eating.

"Don't worry, I've been watching them for ages, and they're completely harmless."

Time Management Systems

"I only want to talk to you about your gas supplier"

All the Fungi Like Looking at the Centermold

"Charlie's really interested in co-operative housing..."

A giant spider eats people

Banana

"I'm afraid we're too late. What if we donate his body to my high protein diet?"

Witch Swing

I'm really sorry about your dust mop - I thought it was a cat!

"Excuse me, but I'm the only one who opens cans around here!"

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

'I should warn you - he's quite a badly damaged individual.'

"Ma'am, your anti-fungal medicines have arrived."

'I thought you said everyone was going to bring a dish to pass?!

The Trouble With Candy Apples...

'I know I told you this wouldn't hurt, but if it does, raise your trunk or something.'

Man riding a fish

Air Duck/Floor Duck.