Lovers Of Whimsical Humor Gifts

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you AT LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Dog in casino.

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

Ask A Silly Question.

The worm that churned!

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

"Look! A sushi bar!"

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'All I've got so far is a bag of stuffing.'

"Hello, Number 6!"

"There's someone sleeping in my pew, and she's still there!"

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

Bus for Giraffes.

"Excuse me, but I'm the only one who opens cans around here!"

Banana

'I'VE GOT EYE CANDY!'

'It's true: I was hunting with the King himself last week...'

The Tin Man really should have asked the wizard for common sense.

'My biological clock finally went off.'

JEEZ! Who the hell is drawing you?

"I've finally accepted the fact that I am full of it. . . with the help of my psychiatrist."