Vintage Machinery Gifts

An old-fashioned printer using an Albion press.

"I'm not sure what we're seeing but I think it's some kind of antique milking machine."

"Reminds me of the day when I could afford to buy a tractor."

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Boombox

"Go ahead and laugh, but this baby hasn't crashed since 1961."

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

"Can't fix the WiFi? How times flies! Seems only yesterday you couldn't program the VCR!"

Run from the hills!

"And do you, Bob, promise to treat Karen as well as you treat your vintage 1950 Indian Blackhawk motorcycle?"

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

Obsolete: Any piece of machinery that you bought last week for $100,000.

'And of course if you'e feeling patriotic today, we have here a new line of PCs produced by the federal government.'

Jake wonders if the manufacturer went a little too far with its new earth mover product line.

'This is a painting of your grandfather.'

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

Brighton Rocky

"She's family."

"It's all state of the art, except for him."

Telephone Box

Gramophone Headphone

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

Ellis K., Appliance Faith Healer

'I told him not to touch that dial.'