Vintage Machinery Lover Gifts

Obsolete: Any piece of machinery that you bought last week for $100,000.

The Bicycle 'Ghost'

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

Crane fishing

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"Could I have a Tommy Tippee cup for my friend's beer, as he's been using a concrete breaker all day."

Forty-five words per minute? Impossible!

James May

"On your mark! Get set!"

"You know the great thing about human beings? They're biodegradable."

Jake wonders if the manufacturer went a little too far with its new earth mover product line.

Bagging the Chipmunk

Man checks the gears in his chest.

"Look Zorg, an antique!"

An old-fashioned printer using an Albion press.

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

"Car Boot Sale" at motor salvage depot.

Lighting a Pipe

A cheese grader

"Usually when someone claims they've installed the latest technology, it means more than just power windows."

Kids hiding plug to giant machine.

Combined Harvester

Elephant with front end loader using tusks.

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

"When you're done here can you look at my laptop?"

Cat flap for a truck.

"I find things go around in cycles."

'I think I've found out why you're experiencing a bumpy ride.'

The seemingly wanton destruction of private property corp.

"This is a CLASSIC pre-owned special. See, it has a cigarette lighter instead of a USB socket."

Milk production

'I'll still advertise the car in the newspaper,if it is alright with you Mildred.'

'Sergeant! Wake up the lazer guided slaughter-bot. We have a mission for him.'; Reply - 'But he looks so peaceful, Sir.'